They are dirty words. Words no one wants to hear much. The "S" words.
Suffering.
Surrender.
Anathema to the world.
The Gospel reading this past Sunday was from John 12:20-33:
"Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit."
The disciples did not completely get this "dying" thing. The word "dying" brings up sad and/or horrible images. No one wants to think about death.
But Jesus was speaking of a different type of death here - death of one's own desires.
No one likes the idea of dying to self. It is completely against what the world whispers is right and good for us. Get what you deserve! Take care of #1, because no one else will! You deserve the best! Where does deprivation get you anyway, except a grumpy attitude and a feeling of martyrish satisfaction.
It matters.
If our goal is truly to do God's will, to follow Him, to be a disciple, then this act of love cannot be ignored. And it IS an act of love, or it should be.
God does not want us kicking and screaming our way to this death of self. It must be freely given. The word free is a positive word, connoting good things. But free in this sense is a much greater word - a painful word.
That is why we do not like to think about dying to self. We KNOW it is something that must be freely given, and this freedom costs everything.
"The question of the Cross is - what will you do when suffering enters your life? Will you freely surrender, or will you cling tightly to whatever it is that has a hold on you - power, greed, fame, etc.."
"Will you fall to the ground and be bitter?
Or will you die to yourself, your desires, whatever it is you cling to, and fall, and be broken open in a great act of love?"
"What is God asking me to surrender?"
Sacrifice.
Surrender.
Live.
(Thanks to Fr. Don Zeiler, pastor of St. Gabriel's in McKinney, TX, for his excellent homily this past Sunday. It certainly echoed all I have been reading from the Teresas, and resounded firmly in my heart!)
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
The Voice of God
Not posting much recently. It come from a combination of not enough time and too many of the same thoughts running around and around my head.
"The good God has given you His work. He wants you to do His work in His way. Failure or success means nothing to Him, as long as you do His work according to His plan and His will."
Mother Teresa - Love: A Fruit Always in Season, 3rd week of Lent, Friday
Knowing that success is not the point is rather comforting. However, the bigger question is, how do I know what is the work of God for me?
I am a mother and I homeschool my children. Both these jobs take the majority of my time and energy. Many people in the world would tell me that I chose to have children and I chose to homeschool them. God did not make me do either of these things. So, these are not necessarily the work of God for me, since I created the work myself.
But the world overlooks this - discernment. Listening to the voice of God. I felt...let's say called... to have children. I felt called to homeschool them (in a long and twisted way. It was never my plan or intent really, but the road ran that way and I followed. Eventually, I DID choose it, but it took a while. But that is another story.).
In order to know the work God has for me, I must listen for the voice of God in my life. That comes only when you are open to hearing it. What does it take to be open? It takes prayer, humility, times of quiet (no matter how brief), and the willingness to do what is asked. How does one hear the voice of God? It can come in many ways - the advice of friends; that small, still voice in the center of one's being; weighing pros and cons, or even something as mundane as a magazine advertisement (which is how I ended up getting a Master's degree in Theology - again, another story for another day).
I find it very challenging to know what God is calling me to. Sometimes I DO create the work in my life - too many times when I do not say no and get over-committed, too many times I do not do things properly and end up with a bigger mess, too many times when I do not take the time to stop and listen and find out what it is I am really supposed to be doing.
That is the time to return to quiet discernment. Taking the time to really try to understand what it is I am supposed to be doing here....now....
These last weeks of Lent, I commit to listening to the voice of God in my life, and being ready to follow, even if it does not lead to success.
Amen!
"The good God has given you His work. He wants you to do His work in His way. Failure or success means nothing to Him, as long as you do His work according to His plan and His will."
Mother Teresa - Love: A Fruit Always in Season, 3rd week of Lent, Friday
Knowing that success is not the point is rather comforting. However, the bigger question is, how do I know what is the work of God for me?
I am a mother and I homeschool my children. Both these jobs take the majority of my time and energy. Many people in the world would tell me that I chose to have children and I chose to homeschool them. God did not make me do either of these things. So, these are not necessarily the work of God for me, since I created the work myself.
But the world overlooks this - discernment. Listening to the voice of God. I felt...let's say called... to have children. I felt called to homeschool them (in a long and twisted way. It was never my plan or intent really, but the road ran that way and I followed. Eventually, I DID choose it, but it took a while. But that is another story.).
In order to know the work God has for me, I must listen for the voice of God in my life. That comes only when you are open to hearing it. What does it take to be open? It takes prayer, humility, times of quiet (no matter how brief), and the willingness to do what is asked. How does one hear the voice of God? It can come in many ways - the advice of friends; that small, still voice in the center of one's being; weighing pros and cons, or even something as mundane as a magazine advertisement (which is how I ended up getting a Master's degree in Theology - again, another story for another day).
I find it very challenging to know what God is calling me to. Sometimes I DO create the work in my life - too many times when I do not say no and get over-committed, too many times I do not do things properly and end up with a bigger mess, too many times when I do not take the time to stop and listen and find out what it is I am really supposed to be doing.
That is the time to return to quiet discernment. Taking the time to really try to understand what it is I am supposed to be doing here....now....
These last weeks of Lent, I commit to listening to the voice of God in my life, and being ready to follow, even if it does not lead to success.
Amen!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Slump
I am in a Lenten Slump.
I decided to do two things for Lent:
And it shows.
Reading the Teresas is really making me focus on God's will. On surrendering to the moment, on letting God lead me by step, by not worrying (as much) about all I have no accomplished with my life.
I need to get re-committed and back on track. I will let this lapse teach me how much I AM learning through this.
Ironically, last week my Mother Teresa readings were all about having moments of silence in life, in order to regroup and to hear God. And I did not have one..single...quiet...moment - not one, all week long.
Onwards and upwards!
I decided to do two things for Lent:
- Give up excessive television - still doing that just fine. Actually enjoying it. Actually have not had much time to miss it.
- Read through Story of a Soul, read the Teresas, and blog - failing at that.
And it shows.
Reading the Teresas is really making me focus on God's will. On surrendering to the moment, on letting God lead me by step, by not worrying (as much) about all I have no accomplished with my life.
I need to get re-committed and back on track. I will let this lapse teach me how much I AM learning through this.
Ironically, last week my Mother Teresa readings were all about having moments of silence in life, in order to regroup and to hear God. And I did not have one..single...quiet...moment - not one, all week long.
Onwards and upwards!
Monday, March 5, 2012
Use Me, God
I continue on, reading through Story of a Soul.
But it is slow going.
I DID read it once, all the way through, in college. Which was a very long time ago, now.
I was telling a friend I was re-reading it, and how slow and hard I found it, and she promised me that if I just get past the first part, which was more autobiographical and less spiritual, it will get better! So, Michelle, with your words of encouragement, I forge ahead!
Often, I need a few days to absorb what I have been reading. Maybe I am just slow!
I keep going to back to a few things: the words of Mother Teresa, which I quoted in a longer quote here:
But it is slow going.
I DID read it once, all the way through, in college. Which was a very long time ago, now.
I was telling a friend I was re-reading it, and how slow and hard I found it, and she promised me that if I just get past the first part, which was more autobiographical and less spiritual, it will get better! So, Michelle, with your words of encouragement, I forge ahead!
Often, I need a few days to absorb what I have been reading. Maybe I am just slow!
I keep going to back to a few things: the words of Mother Teresa, which I quoted in a longer quote here:
I ask him to make a saint of me,
yet I must leave to him the choice of saintliness itself
and still more the means which lead to it."
How many times do we, as Christians, moved by a particularly strong experience of God, church, or love, utter the words, "Use me, Lord"? Sometimes the feeling can be so strong, that our spiritual desires overcome everything else, and we throw ourselves into the arms of God, longing that we might do something for Him.
But we often never think it all the way through.
Mother Teresa, in the above words, warns us of this, when she cautions us that we cannot both ask God to make us holy and dictate how He will do it. If we truly want to be holy, then we must allow each trial, each stumbling block, each pain, each joy to come to us as He wills.
"Not my will, but thine, O Lord, be done." Luke 22:42
Even should He desire to remove His presence from our lives, we must allow it. Not that He would truly be gone, but He might allow the feeling of relationship to go. Mother Teresa experienced this, this dark night of the soul, when one feels alone and lost, feeling abandoned by the One Person who promised to never leave us. It is like walking in the pitch black, having to take it on faith alone (which can be a rather flimsy thing) that the road one cannot see is truly before you, and you are not in actuality stepping off a cliff to fall 10,000 feet to one's death.
To say, "Your will, O Lord" is a frightening thing.
So is, "Use me, Lord".
The great Christian singer, Rich Mullins, once said this,
"God can use anybody. God used Nebuchadnezzar. God used Judas Iscariot. Its not a big deal to be used by God and the shocking thing in the book of Mark, and the reason why it is so shocking is because Mark is the briefest of all the gospels but he has these terrific little details, and one of the little details is that it says, "...and Jesus called to him those he wanted." And you realize that out of the twelve disciples that He wanted, only one was essential to His goal in coming to earth. The other eleven people were useless to Christ. And I kind of go, I would much rather have God want me than God use me."
Sometimes the whole "Christian" thing is just so beyond me, and I just go, "whatever"! Use me, want me, love me, lead me - just help me to do or be whatever it is You are wanting me to do or be. Then you have to just go and do it, and hope for the best!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The Sacred Ache
The Sacred Ache - that place within us that that is never quite fulfilled.
I heard this term while driving in the car to spend the day with my Aunt Kathy yesterday. When I turned the car on, the radio came alive to a talk show. Turns out my radio was set to a local Christian station, and the show on was "Focus on the Family". Sheila Walsh, Christian singer and speaker, was talking.
I am not often big on listening to talk while in the car. I like music to speed me along. But Sheila's beautiful speaking voice with its musical lilt filled the air in my car, and I found myself listening intently.
She spoke of times of depression and doubt. Of those times when you give it your all, and it - whatever "it" is you are doing or striving for - still seems to come up short. No matter how others praise us, we know that it is not perfect.
That we missed those two notes in that psalm. That we hung that picture just a little off-center. That, while the living room looks great, the bedroom upstairs is a disaster.
That no matter how hard we work, it never quite reaches "perfect".
"There will never be that "perfect" book, that "perfect" album, that "perfect" anything....", Walsh said. There will always be that small thing that is "wrong", that is "imperfect".
Instead of letting that imperfection discourage us, make us feel less-than-worthy, we have to recognize it for what it is: The Sacred Ache - the reminder that nothing is perfect apart from God. That this world is not our final home. That everything remains a little less than "just right", until we are united with our Heavenly Father in our Heavenly Home.
The Sacred Ache serves its purpose to draw us closer to the One who is Perfect, who is Perfection itself.
St. Augustine said it best when he said, "You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You."
Blessed Mother Teresa told her congregation, "We do not allow ourselves to be disheartened by any failure as long as we have done our best, neither do we glory in our success but refer all to God in deep thankfulness." (Total Surrender, "Our Response")
In news of St. Terese - I finished reading Chapter 2, Les Buissonnets, about Therese's early life. Her family surrounded her with a great deal of love. Even when her mother died, her sisters poured maternal love on the little girl.
Reading about Therese's magical early years reminds me how important the first years are to a child's formation. Especially a child's religious formation.
Happy 1st day of March to you all!
I heard this term while driving in the car to spend the day with my Aunt Kathy yesterday. When I turned the car on, the radio came alive to a talk show. Turns out my radio was set to a local Christian station, and the show on was "Focus on the Family". Sheila Walsh, Christian singer and speaker, was talking.
I am not often big on listening to talk while in the car. I like music to speed me along. But Sheila's beautiful speaking voice with its musical lilt filled the air in my car, and I found myself listening intently.
She spoke of times of depression and doubt. Of those times when you give it your all, and it - whatever "it" is you are doing or striving for - still seems to come up short. No matter how others praise us, we know that it is not perfect.
That we missed those two notes in that psalm. That we hung that picture just a little off-center. That, while the living room looks great, the bedroom upstairs is a disaster.
That no matter how hard we work, it never quite reaches "perfect".
"There will never be that "perfect" book, that "perfect" album, that "perfect" anything....", Walsh said. There will always be that small thing that is "wrong", that is "imperfect".
Instead of letting that imperfection discourage us, make us feel less-than-worthy, we have to recognize it for what it is: The Sacred Ache - the reminder that nothing is perfect apart from God. That this world is not our final home. That everything remains a little less than "just right", until we are united with our Heavenly Father in our Heavenly Home.
The Sacred Ache serves its purpose to draw us closer to the One who is Perfect, who is Perfection itself.
St. Augustine said it best when he said, "You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You."
Blessed Mother Teresa told her congregation, "We do not allow ourselves to be disheartened by any failure as long as we have done our best, neither do we glory in our success but refer all to God in deep thankfulness." (Total Surrender, "Our Response")
In news of St. Terese - I finished reading Chapter 2, Les Buissonnets, about Therese's early life. Her family surrounded her with a great deal of love. Even when her mother died, her sisters poured maternal love on the little girl.
Reading about Therese's magical early years reminds me how important the first years are to a child's formation. Especially a child's religious formation.
Happy 1st day of March to you all!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Grin and Bear It
My mind has been reeling these days. The words of the Teresas fill my heart and soul. Sometimes I find myself with a great deal to say, but no way to dedicate time to sit and write. Sometimes I cannot find the words at all, but I sit in amazement at the stirrings I feel taking place in my soul, wondering where it might all lead.
I continue to make my way though Story of a Soul, but I am still in St. Therese's early day, and while interesting, it is not necessarily leaving me with a great deal to ponder.
Instead, I find my mind's eye is constantly returning to the idea of fields of flowers.
I ran across this interesting article as I looked up the names of some flowering weeds. It talks a little about how even flowering weeds are beneficial to birds, bees, and butterflies. Destroying them because they are weeds may have an adverse effect on insect life. Even the weed can have its place. Comforting, no?
It can be so hard to know when to accept - what is the will of God - and when to fight. I mean, what if you are a rose, but you try to be a dandelion?
To put it in human terms - what if you are pursuing a dream, and you find doors closed, but you still want to pursue that dream? Which one is The Will of God - the closed doors or the desire to continue?
I suppose that is what "discernment" is all about. But why does it have to be so difficult?
I have been trying very hard to put into practice that which I am learning. I have tried to offer all I am doing - especially that which I do not want to do - to God, for love of Him and for love of my family.
I mean - I really hate to cook. At the end of the day, after homeschooling and running errands and cleaning and stuff - the last thing I want to do is spend an hour creating a meal that will take my 5 men 10 minutes to plow through, then face the clean-up.
Even worse than that - the trip to the grocery store. A whole hour buying food that will only last a few days, and the cost - my Lord! The cost! Ugh.
I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I asked St. Therese to pray for me to not complain, at least not as much as I normally do. I went, returned home, and tried to smile at the kids the whole time we put groceries away. I even began preparing the evening meal after we had everything put away. It took a lot of prayer, I tell you! I was trying so hard to "grin and bear it".
Small things - ALL things - in love, for love.
St. Therese said - "I understood, too, there were many degrees of perfection and each soul was free to respond to the advances of Our Lord, to do little or much for Him, in a word, to choose among the sacrifices He was asking."
See? I do not have to choose to take on the grocery shopping as a sacrifice. There are many times it is simply my job, and I do it, albeit grudgingly. There are times I offer it as a sacrifice of Love for my family and to God.
Frankly, either way, the shopping gets done. It does not change that fact.
The difference is interior - the value it has. It can either have no value, a practical value, or it can be a proclamation of love to my family, and this be both practical and active - actively shaping my interior heart to be more ordered to show love. Love begets love. If I decide to withhold it, my work as a mother and teacher becomes exactly that - work. If I declare it to be a sacrifice, or better yet - an offering - it retains all the sameness of form but is in itself transformed into an act of the will, love that blooms and drops seeds that will (hopefully) become more acts of love.
(Even the case of stopping my train of thought in the middle of it getting going to admire the awesome Lego creation the three-year-old just made.)
Blessed Mother Teresa said:
"One thing Jesus asks of me: that I lean on him; that in him and only in him I put complete trust; that I surrender myself unreservedly. Even when all goes wrong and I feel as if I am a ship without a compass, I must give myself completely to him. I must not attempt to control God's action; I must not count the stages in the journey he would have me make. I must not desire a clear perception of my advance upon the road, must not know precisely where I am upon the way of holiness. I ask him to make a saint of me, yet I must leave to him the choices of the saintliness itself and still more the means which lead to it." (Total Surrender, "Our Response".
I must leave to Him the choice of where I am a rose or a dandelion. I must leave it to Him if holiness is to come to me in the form of fame, fortune, and success or if my path to holiness consists of small things, small acts of obedience that no one sees or appreciates or even cares about.
This is a hard lesson.
I continue to make my way though Story of a Soul, but I am still in St. Therese's early day, and while interesting, it is not necessarily leaving me with a great deal to ponder.
Instead, I find my mind's eye is constantly returning to the idea of fields of flowers.
- I wonder - a flower cannot see itself.
- Does it know if it is a rose or a flowering clover (a weed)?
- What if you think you are a rose or camellia, but you are just a plain ol' buttercup?
I ran across this interesting article as I looked up the names of some flowering weeds. It talks a little about how even flowering weeds are beneficial to birds, bees, and butterflies. Destroying them because they are weeds may have an adverse effect on insect life. Even the weed can have its place. Comforting, no?
It can be so hard to know when to accept - what is the will of God - and when to fight. I mean, what if you are a rose, but you try to be a dandelion?
To put it in human terms - what if you are pursuing a dream, and you find doors closed, but you still want to pursue that dream? Which one is The Will of God - the closed doors or the desire to continue?
I suppose that is what "discernment" is all about. But why does it have to be so difficult?
I have been trying very hard to put into practice that which I am learning. I have tried to offer all I am doing - especially that which I do not want to do - to God, for love of Him and for love of my family.
I mean - I really hate to cook. At the end of the day, after homeschooling and running errands and cleaning and stuff - the last thing I want to do is spend an hour creating a meal that will take my 5 men 10 minutes to plow through, then face the clean-up.
Even worse than that - the trip to the grocery store. A whole hour buying food that will only last a few days, and the cost - my Lord! The cost! Ugh.
I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I asked St. Therese to pray for me to not complain, at least not as much as I normally do. I went, returned home, and tried to smile at the kids the whole time we put groceries away. I even began preparing the evening meal after we had everything put away. It took a lot of prayer, I tell you! I was trying so hard to "grin and bear it".
Small things - ALL things - in love, for love.
St. Therese said - "I understood, too, there were many degrees of perfection and each soul was free to respond to the advances of Our Lord, to do little or much for Him, in a word, to choose among the sacrifices He was asking."
See? I do not have to choose to take on the grocery shopping as a sacrifice. There are many times it is simply my job, and I do it, albeit grudgingly. There are times I offer it as a sacrifice of Love for my family and to God.
Frankly, either way, the shopping gets done. It does not change that fact.
The difference is interior - the value it has. It can either have no value, a practical value, or it can be a proclamation of love to my family, and this be both practical and active - actively shaping my interior heart to be more ordered to show love. Love begets love. If I decide to withhold it, my work as a mother and teacher becomes exactly that - work. If I declare it to be a sacrifice, or better yet - an offering - it retains all the sameness of form but is in itself transformed into an act of the will, love that blooms and drops seeds that will (hopefully) become more acts of love.
(Even the case of stopping my train of thought in the middle of it getting going to admire the awesome Lego creation the three-year-old just made.)
Blessed Mother Teresa said:
"One thing Jesus asks of me: that I lean on him; that in him and only in him I put complete trust; that I surrender myself unreservedly. Even when all goes wrong and I feel as if I am a ship without a compass, I must give myself completely to him. I must not attempt to control God's action; I must not count the stages in the journey he would have me make. I must not desire a clear perception of my advance upon the road, must not know precisely where I am upon the way of holiness. I ask him to make a saint of me, yet I must leave to him the choices of the saintliness itself and still more the means which lead to it." (Total Surrender, "Our Response".
I must leave to Him the choice of where I am a rose or a dandelion. I must leave it to Him if holiness is to come to me in the form of fame, fortune, and success or if my path to holiness consists of small things, small acts of obedience that no one sees or appreciates or even cares about.
This is a hard lesson.
Friday, February 24, 2012
The Rose, the Lily, and the Dandelion
"Our Lord is occupied particularly with each soul as though there were no others like it." - (Story of a Soul)
So says St. Therese.
But it can be so hard to really believe.
I know God loves me, but does He like me? Does He....like-like me?
As I am reading St. Therese's memories of her early childhood, it becomes apparent to me, as she herself says, "God was pleased all through (her) life to surround (her) with love." Her whole early childhood seems bathed in a rosy glow of financial stability, spiritual giftedness, and the benefit of being the youngest girl of a family given to express affection.
Part of me wonders at all that! Why did she receive so much? It seems like it would not be incredibly hard to be good when your life is so full of wholesome love. There is that part of me - that shy-girl part - that cries - "unfair"!
God makes clear He loves and like-likes His little Therese.
Not everyone gets that kind of start to life. Why?
Even St. Therese ponders this - "I wondered for a long time why God has preferences, why all souls don't receive an equal amount of graces."
Therese goes on to make the beautiful analogy of the flowers - how God answered her queries with a nature lesson. There are many, many types of flowers in the world, from the beautiful rose to the humble, small wildflower in a field. The fragrance of the lily and the fact it will adorn altars all over during Easter take away nothing from the beauty of the wildflowers growing hidden in a field. If all flowers were roses or lilies, nature would be less than it was meant to be.
Have you ever stumbled upon a patch of flowers, hidden behind some bushes, or tucked away out of plain sight? The suddenness of seeing color where none was expected can take your breath away. Even if they turn out to be just flowering weeds - they shine forth in their beauty. But what if no one ever sees them? Does that lessen their beauty? (Kind of like "If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?")
All flowers, even the most humble, hidden wildflower, add to what "nature" is meant to be.Every flower is meant to bloom and grow, as each one is, according to its nature.
So, too, all souls are meant to glorify God, according to whatever life He gives them to live. Some will have the privilege of good upbringing, good teaching, and tractable spirits, and can follow the path of faith much more easily than others, who are brought into a harsh world, and are given little to go on.
I can understand this, at least to a degree. I was given a deep love of Scripture from an early age. I devoured The Picture Bible - the cool one by Iva Hoth, not the boring black-and-white Catholic Picture Bible.
As a child, I loved my "Bible Trivia" game, but could never find anyone to play with me. I was fascinated by my saint books. I hungered for more, spiritually. I have been blessed through my lifetime to have had instructions in faith by amazing people - from Mr. Williams, who was my Confirmation instructor, to the many examples of faith of the men and women in the Catholic community I was raised in (although there were many faults in this community, and many hurts, as well), to my college instruction from Dr. Scott Hahn, Dr. Regis Martin, Rita Marker, and Dr. John Croby, to my post-graduate studies with Fr. Francis Martin, Msg. Albacete, and Dr. William May (just to name a few)..
I mean - after all I have been given, spiritually speaking, I have no excuse to be spiritually lazy. I was given an abundance of gifts, and it becomes my duty to figure out how to pass on all I have received.
One of the ways Mother Teresa always impressed me was, she never seemed fazed by anyone - world dignitary, prostitute, volunteer, pop star, pope, or child - she approached each person with such simplicity. They were who they were, and were respected as such. Each person was able to come to God, as they were.
I leave you with this thought from Mother Teresa, from Love: A Fruit Always in Season.
'Often you see small and big wires, new and old, cheap and expensive electric cables up - they alone are useless and until the current passes through them there will be no light. The wire is you and me. The current is God. We have the power to let the current pass through us and use us to produce the light of the world or we can refuse to be used and allow the darkness to spread. My prayer is with each of you and I pray that each one of you will be holy, and so spread God's love, everywhere you go."
So says St. Therese.
But it can be so hard to really believe.
I know God loves me, but does He like me? Does He....like-like me?
As I am reading St. Therese's memories of her early childhood, it becomes apparent to me, as she herself says, "God was pleased all through (her) life to surround (her) with love." Her whole early childhood seems bathed in a rosy glow of financial stability, spiritual giftedness, and the benefit of being the youngest girl of a family given to express affection.
Part of me wonders at all that! Why did she receive so much? It seems like it would not be incredibly hard to be good when your life is so full of wholesome love. There is that part of me - that shy-girl part - that cries - "unfair"!
God makes clear He loves and like-likes His little Therese.
Not everyone gets that kind of start to life. Why?
Even St. Therese ponders this - "I wondered for a long time why God has preferences, why all souls don't receive an equal amount of graces."
Therese goes on to make the beautiful analogy of the flowers - how God answered her queries with a nature lesson. There are many, many types of flowers in the world, from the beautiful rose to the humble, small wildflower in a field. The fragrance of the lily and the fact it will adorn altars all over during Easter take away nothing from the beauty of the wildflowers growing hidden in a field. If all flowers were roses or lilies, nature would be less than it was meant to be.
Have you ever stumbled upon a patch of flowers, hidden behind some bushes, or tucked away out of plain sight? The suddenness of seeing color where none was expected can take your breath away. Even if they turn out to be just flowering weeds - they shine forth in their beauty. But what if no one ever sees them? Does that lessen their beauty? (Kind of like "If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?")
All flowers, even the most humble, hidden wildflower, add to what "nature" is meant to be.Every flower is meant to bloom and grow, as each one is, according to its nature.
So, too, all souls are meant to glorify God, according to whatever life He gives them to live. Some will have the privilege of good upbringing, good teaching, and tractable spirits, and can follow the path of faith much more easily than others, who are brought into a harsh world, and are given little to go on.
I can understand this, at least to a degree. I was given a deep love of Scripture from an early age. I devoured The Picture Bible - the cool one by Iva Hoth, not the boring black-and-white Catholic Picture Bible.
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| Awesomeness, Scripture-style! |
As a child, I loved my "Bible Trivia" game, but could never find anyone to play with me. I was fascinated by my saint books. I hungered for more, spiritually. I have been blessed through my lifetime to have had instructions in faith by amazing people - from Mr. Williams, who was my Confirmation instructor, to the many examples of faith of the men and women in the Catholic community I was raised in (although there were many faults in this community, and many hurts, as well), to my college instruction from Dr. Scott Hahn, Dr. Regis Martin, Rita Marker, and Dr. John Croby, to my post-graduate studies with Fr. Francis Martin, Msg. Albacete, and Dr. William May (just to name a few)..
I mean - after all I have been given, spiritually speaking, I have no excuse to be spiritually lazy. I was given an abundance of gifts, and it becomes my duty to figure out how to pass on all I have received.
One of the ways Mother Teresa always impressed me was, she never seemed fazed by anyone - world dignitary, prostitute, volunteer, pop star, pope, or child - she approached each person with such simplicity. They were who they were, and were respected as such. Each person was able to come to God, as they were.
I leave you with this thought from Mother Teresa, from Love: A Fruit Always in Season.
'Often you see small and big wires, new and old, cheap and expensive electric cables up - they alone are useless and until the current passes through them there will be no light. The wire is you and me. The current is God. We have the power to let the current pass through us and use us to produce the light of the world or we can refuse to be used and allow the darkness to spread. My prayer is with each of you and I pray that each one of you will be holy, and so spread God's love, everywhere you go."
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