The S Words

They are dirty words. Words no one wants to hear much. The "S" words.

Suffering.

Surrender.

Anathema to the world.

The Gospel reading this past Sunday was from John 12:20-33:
 "Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit."

The disciples did not completely get this "dying" thing. The word "dying" brings up sad and/or horrible images. No one wants to think about death.
But Jesus was speaking of a different type of death here - death of one's own desires.

No one likes the idea of dying to self. It is completely against what the world whispers is right and good for us. Get what you deserve! Take care of #1, because no one else will! You deserve the best! Where does deprivation get you anyway, except a grumpy attitude and a feeling of martyrish satisfaction.

It matters.

If our goal is truly to do God's will, to follow Him, to be a disciple, then this act of love cannot be ignored. And it IS an act of love, or it should be.
God does not want us kicking and screaming our way to this death of self. It must be freely given. The word free is a positive word, connoting good things. But free in this sense is a much greater word - a painful word.
That is why we do not like to think about dying to self. We KNOW it is something that must be freely given, and this freedom costs everything.

"The question of the Cross is - what will you do when suffering enters your life? Will you freely surrender, or will you cling tightly to whatever it is that has a hold on you - power, greed, fame, etc.."
"Will you fall to the ground and be bitter?
Or will you die to yourself, your desires, whatever it is you cling to, and fall, and be broken open in a great act of love?"

"What is God asking me to surrender?"

Sacrifice.
Surrender.

Live.
(Thanks to Fr. Don Zeiler, pastor of St. Gabriel's in McKinney, TX, for his excellent homily this past Sunday. It certainly echoed all I have been reading from the Teresas, and resounded firmly in my heart!)